Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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