I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
soo... how was my night?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
