it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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