You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
