Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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