are you still at the devil's house?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
