You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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