Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
