when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
