and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
