so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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