Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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