The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
