He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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