If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
