ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
