Where are you?
In a non slutty way
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
