My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
