I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
