my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
