The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
