I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Green mimosas i think yes
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
