you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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