You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
