Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
