Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
