so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
