I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
