I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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