I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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