why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
