yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
