Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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