in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
