batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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