smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just want to make out with him forever
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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