I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
