i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
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