I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
