Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
