Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
