my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
