Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
