Just fell off a train. Bad.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
