Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
