I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
