It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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