Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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