i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
