i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
