I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
